I always thought trying was the key to success, but for superstitious reasons, couldn’t bother. Well, I’m shocked to have found out that actually putting effort in is no guarantee of anything. Over the past year, to jazz things up a bit, I have experimented with trying as a last resort in a variety of desperate situations, including: trying to sleep, trying to relax, and trying to forget about stuff. In every instance trying has aggravated the problem. It doesn’t work. If anyone ever tells you to try, you should be confident that this is the perfect moment to run for the hills (i.e. the pub). I shall see you there.