The twitterati has set the internet alight with accusations that Glastonbury festival-goers are (horror) middle class. Let’s have a minute’s silence for the thousands of photos of Corbyn and Sheeran that can’t be uploaded because people have to deal with the haters right now. I don’t know why we’re scratching each other’s eyes out. The …

I slayed a flying ant to the shock of my vegetarian sista this afternoon and have just endured a 32 minute buzz off with a wasp: yes, I’m enduring the dark-side of every Londoner’s fantasy – outside space. I am regretting both plants and it’s only 29 June. Bring on winter. In local news our …

After 20 years of happy divorce my parents decided to travel together to New Zealand this year to see my brother and celebrate his 40th (what a birthday present!). They are now en route home via Sydney. Yesterday, 23:12 Hi Tania Went out last night to pick up 2 bottles of wine. Went to shop …

I know summer has started when my mother reminds me to wear sunglasses. I can’t recall when she first read that blue eyes are especially sensitive to light but over the years the risks have assumed ever-greater dimensions. I know now that if I don’t wear shades my eyeballs will disintegrate, dribble out of their …

I’m now 37 weeks pregnant. It’s a blast. Couldn’t feel better. Apart from the discomfort, mood swings and weight gain. At the beginning of this year my boobs tilted up and blinked at the sun. Now they’re looking left and right like they’re anxious about being followed. And I still have three weeks to grow. …